


Sleepover

by Just_jesshere



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8001469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_jesshere/pseuds/Just_jesshere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bad storm traps the Ghostbusters in HQ, after finding out Holtzmann never went to a sleepover Abby, Erin and Patty do their best to accommodate her. This leads to a game of truth or dare which causes Holtz to open up about her past. Warning: mentions of abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fic up on here. Would really appreciate some feedback if you fancied giving it!

The four of them were sitting around the desk eating pizza. Erin leaned over Holtzmann to grab the penultimate slice, Holtzmann was quick to follow beating Patty and Abby too it. She was tutted at but she didn’t care as she sunk her teeth into the lukewarm cheese. After Holtz had finished her crust the gang cleared up the pizza boxes. It was getting late, Patty was the first to announce that she was about to head home. Abby quickly followed with the same notion. As they retrieved their things they heard lightning overhead. Erin groaned and pushed herself up against the window. It had gotten extremely dark and rain was bouncing off the pavement outside HQ. The street had turned otherwise quiet, everyone had ran to take shelter.

“I don’t think anyone is going home tonight” Abby said locking up the main door.

“Sleepover it is then” said Patty clapping her hands together. This wasn’t a new experience for the Ghostbusters, they often found themselves working late and just deciding to stay over. However they had never all stayed over all at once. Most of the time it was just Holtzmann who stayed over, and when she did, she just slept at her desk. Erin had never stayed over, Patty only had once. Abby sometimes stayed just to check that Holtz wouldn’t blow the place up. They had mattresses stashed in one of the cupboards and blankets in the other. Holtzmann opened the mattress cupboard and tried to manoeuvre them out. The weight of one sent her toppling backwards. She fell and lay with a mattress successfully pinning her to the floor. Patty laughed.

“You okay baby girl?” Holtzmann replied with a few grunts. Patty squatted down and flipped the mattress over, Holtz scrambled out from beneath and lay beside it catching her breath.

“So you can fight ghosts, but mattresses are just a little too much?” Abby joked. Holtz got to her feet and opted to fetch the blankets whilst Abby and Patty got out the mattresses. Soon the four of them were sitting down on their beds, a bowl of popcorn was placed in the middle.

“I haven’t had a sleepover in ages!” Patty said, grabbing a handful of popcorn. Erin bit her lip, Patty looked at her and took her hand.

“No its okay, I did have them but it was before...well before I was Ghost Girl” Holtzmann got up off her bed and jumped over to Erin`s. She put her head in Erin`s lap and sighed.

“If it makes you feel any better I never had one” Erin laughed and wrapped Holtzmann up in a big hug.

“We have a sleepover virgin then!” announced Abby. Holtzmann took out her phone and googled “ _what to do at a sleepover_ ”. Abby snatched the phone off her.

“Don’t do that, you will only end up with clichés” Holtzmann wriggled an eyebrow and leaned against Abby.

“You know like pillow fights, or braiding each other’s hair” Abby rattled off the events, trying to mask it was something she very well used to do herself.

“Giving each other makeovers, painting each other`s nails, truth or dare” Erin cut in.

“Yeah baby you don’t need that” Patty offered, she seemed more occupied with the popcorn.

“I want the cliché experience if you don’t mind!” Holtz stood up and grabbed her pillow. She hit Patty, successfully knocking the popcorn out of her hand. Patty wiped the crumbs from her mouth and stood up. She unhooked her earrings, handed them to Erin and grabbed her own pillow. She swung it back and proceeded to hit Holtz to the floor. Erin and Abby were quick to join in.

As the night crept in the activities became less physical. The four of them were now lying on their beds listening to the rain that still fell strong. Erin was sporting eight braids in her hair- she looked slightly like an octopus. Patty’s face was covered in lipstick- ironically none of it fell on her lips. Abby’s nails were neon shades, some of the polish grazed the edges of her skin. Holtz sported all three.

“So Patty truth or dare?” Abby asked.

“Dare all the way!”

“Okay, I dare yooooou toooo, oh I have a good one!” Abby announced.

“I dare you to shut your eyes and identify one us by the smell of our feet alone” Patty rolled around laughing before closing her eyes. Her eyes creased at the edges as she tried to fight back the laughing, especially as Erin commented on the grossness of the dare. In silence Abby whipped off Holtz`s socks and pushed them under Patty`s nose. Patty took in a deep breath and coughed.

“Holtzy for real” she spluttered. She opened her eyes and fell about laughing again. Holtzmann was known for her tendency to skip showering, it wasn’t that she was unhygienic. It was simply that her brain buzzed with physics over a desire to shower. Every so often Abby would lean in and whisper to her that a bath was waiting for her. As Holtzmann was putting her socks back in Abby asked Erin the question. Patty cut in mentioning she needn’t have asked, Erin would never go for a dare. Erin sucked in a breath and opted for dare anyway- she stuck out her tongue at Patty.

“Okay so Erin, I dare you too...um...kiss Holtzmann” Abby bit her lip and giggled.

“Why am I at the foot of all these dares?” Holtzmann fake complained. She grinned at Erin and puckered up. Erin crawled over to Holtz`s mattress and planted a kiss firm on her lips. Holtzmann wrapped her arms around Erin`s waist and pulled her in for a proper kiss. Erin pushed her off and went back to her own mattress. Her cheeks were burning. Holtz raised two fingers to the side of her head and saluted.

Holtzmann turned to Abby to answer the question herself.

“Truth” she said boldly, she had to be the odd one out.

“What happened to your dad?” Holtzmann`s lips parted, she was silent.


	2. Chapter 2

Abby had known Holtzmann the longest. She had shown up once at Abby`s lab and never seemed to leave again. Holtzmann wasn’t a private person she would happily tell you she was just about to go to the bathroom and she would gladly voice her opinions on matters, matters that often didnt concern her. However Holtzmann didn’t mention her family much. Abby knew that Holtz`s mam died when Holtz was only little, she also knew that this was something Holtz didn’t like speaking about. Holtz however had never mentioned her father.

Abby shook her head, she knew she had overstepped the mark. Holtz had trusted her enough to tell her about her mother, if she had wanted to share further about her family she would have. She felt guilty that she had made Holtz feel uncomfortable. She sighed and scooped Holtz up into a hug.

“I’m sorry Holtz that wasn’t fair” Holtzmann stayed quiet.

“No” she whispered. Abby released her and held her by her elbows. Holtz adjusted her goggles and stated to undo a braid. She wiped off her makeup on her sleeve and hid her painted nails in her pockets.

“Maybe I should tell you” she mumbled.

“Honestly Holtz, you don’t have too, it’s okay” Abby said soothingly.

“Yeah Holtzy it was just a stupid game” Patty added. Holtz shook her head, she took the last handful of popcorn and started her story.

_Holtzmann was only little when her mother died. However she could remember the day it happened, she was playing out in the garden. Her dad came out on the patio and called her name._

_“Jillian will you come here a second?” she grinned up at her dad and hopped over to him. He stuck his arms under hers and lifted her inside. He sat down with Holtzmann on his knee, she reached up to pull his ears. He normally would stick out his tongue and make a funny noise, not today. His face stayed sad. Holtzmann wriggled off his lap and stood in front of him._

_“Dad” she said quietly. It was then that Holtzmann`s father took her hands and told her of the terrible accident that claimed her mother`s life. Holtzmann cried and cried. Her father took her up to her room and tucked her in._

_The weeks after her mother had passed were horrible, Holtzmann`s father would take her to school but would soon have to come and pick her up. She would get into fights, shout at teachers and lock herself in the toilets. The weeks turned into months and soon Holtzmann`s father began to get annoyed._

_One day Holtzmann`s father picked Holtz up from school. She flashed a sad smile at the secretary and picked Jillian up. He carried her to the car and drove home in silence. Holtzmann tried to talk to him but he ignored her. Once they arrived back at the house Holtzmann`s dad grabbed her by the arm roughly and dragged her inside. Holtz was scared, her father was never rough with her, and he would never hurt her._

_“I’m sick of this Jillian, you need to start behaving” Holtz blinked up at him, then she looked down at her arm, his grip was so tight that red rings began to form. She whimpered and tried to push him off, he pulled her towards him and leered in her face._

_“Understand?” he hissed. Holtzmann nodded as tears began to escape from her eyes. Her father let go of her arm and pushed her backwards. Holtz hit the floor, she curled up and cried quietly as her father shut his bedroom door behind him._

_Holtzmann didn’t create anymore problems at school. She kept her head down and started to work properly. She didn’t start any more fights, she didn’t snap at any more teachers and she didn’t lock herself in anymore toilet cubicles. Her father never mentioned the day where he grabbed her arm, neither did she. He never apologised for it either. He became distant, Holtzmann couldn’t remember the last time he joked with her or hugged her. She felt alone. Holtzmann was now a teenager. She didn’t have many friends, all the other girls thought she was odd. There was one boy who she would eat her lunch with, they would meet at the science block and discuss physics over their sandwiches._

_One day she and George were discussing collision theory, George had finished his tuna sandwich and leaned over to Holtz. She wasn’t sure what to do, George was supposed to be her friend. Just a friend. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. Before Holtzmann could think, his lips came crashing down on hers. He smelt of tuna and it felt all wrong. Holtzmann brought balled fists up to his chest and pushed him away._

_“What are you doing?!” she gasped._

_“What do you mean!” he whispered._

_“George you’re just a friend, I don’t want...” she was cut off my George trying again. She got up and ran from the classroom. There she ran into her science teacher, tears were spilling from her eyes and she was on the verge of a panic attack. Mrs Lawson bundled her up into a hug and led her to the staffroom. She made Holtz a cup of tea and waited for her to calm down. Holtz told Mrs Lawson about George. She told her that she hadn’t wanted too. Mrs Lawson took her hand and squeezed it. All the teachers at the school knew about Jillian Holtzmann`s circumstances. Mrs Lawson also knew that Holtz`s father was detached, she knew that no one would have sat down and told Holtz about the birds and the bees. She also knew that Holtzmann pretended to be tough but the assault from George would have devastated her._

_Holtzmann wanted to go back to her lessons, however she was shaking so badly that she couldn’t even pick up a pen. Against Holtzmann`s wishes Mrs Lawson had to call Holtz`s father._


	3. Chapter 3

Holtz took a break from sharing her story. The other three had listened intently, giving her reassurance on the parts she got choked up over. Holtz picked up the empty popcorn bowl and went off to the kitchen by herself. She started to root around in some cupboards so she could whip up some nachos. Patty went in to help, but Holtzmann kindly asked her to leave. Patty retreated back to her mattress, she knew this was hard for Holtzmann and she knew she was just taking a breather, but Holtz`s words still hurt a little. Patty had only wanted to help. She shook off the feeling when she saw Erin`s hair still bundled up in several braids.

“This must be killing her” Patty said, sitting down on the mattress. It was then that she realised she still had lipstick covering her face. Patty groaned internally, Holtz had to share the darkest corners of her past whilst looking at her red stained face. Erin saw her dabbing at her face, she giggled and attacked her with a tissue.

“It has got to be hard, but she wouldn’t be telling us unless she wanted to” Abby said, she wasn’t entirely sure she was correct but she wanted to be, she still felt bad for stirring up these feelings. Abby rolled off her mattress and saw a glint of gold beneath her pillow, it was one of Patty`s earrings. Abby scoured for its sister and held them up to her own ears.

“Hey Erin” she hissed. She got up and re-enacted Patty`s swagger. Patty rolled around laughing before grabbing her earrings back and shoving them in. Holtz then appeared with a big bowl of nachos, she placed them were the popcorn had sat and dug in. The other three quickly joined, Holtz was eating so quickly that if they hadn’t they would have received none. The events from that evening’s pizza repeated themselves. Erin grabbed the second last nacho and then Holtz snatched the last. Holtz proceeded to kick the bowl to the side and wipe her hands on her trousers. She cleared her throat, blinked several times and then returned to her story.

_It took no longer than fifteen minutes for Holtzmann`s father to reach the school. Since her mother’s accident her dad had quit his job as an electrician and was eating into the families savings. Holtz was reluctant to leave the staff room where she sat with Mrs Lawson. The secretary came up to inform her that her father had arrived. Mrs Lawson squeezed her still shaking her hand and patted her on the back. Holtz`s father thanked the secretary, put an arm around her and walked her to the car. His grip was just a little too tight. Holtz could feel the ghost of the red marks on her arm burn slightly. The drive home was excruciating- she hated telling her dad what had happened, she felt ashamed about the whole thing._

_“Jillian I think you may have overreacted” Holtz was stunned into silence- this boy had scared her, made her feel afraid._

_“I don’t think...” Her father pulled into the drive and got out of the car, not listening to her opinion. He went into the house leaving Holtz in the car. It took Holtz half an hour to pluck up the courage to follow him inside- she thought about leaving and just running where her feet took her, she suppressed those feelings._

_“I thought we had got past this stupid behaviour Jillian” he was sitting on the sofa- a tumbler of whisky was held loosely in his grip. Holtz took a deep breath and adjusted her goggles. Normally when her father drank she would retreat to her bedroom, when she was getting ready for school the next day she had to tiptoe though broken glass. Holtzmann tried to sneak off to her room- she didn’t want to be around when he reached his limit. Her dad fastened his free hand around her wrist and yanked her back. She was forced to sit beside him, she watched him drink glass after glass. He ended up leaning against her. Holtz tensed up._

_“It’s your fault you know” he slurred. Holtz didn’t say anything._

_“She’s gone because of you” he added. Holtz tried to get up, he pushed her back down. Holtzmann lay there pinned down by him, his sad eyes bore into her._

_“She was going out to buy you those stupid goggles” Holtz`s dad prodded the yellow glass that resided on Holtz`s forehead. The goggles were retrieved from the wreckage, in a broken paper bag. Hotlz had seen them in a shop and had begged her mam for them. After her mam passed she hardly ever took them off. Holtz tried to squirm away from him, he snatched the goggles and tossed them across the room. Holtz cried out as they hit the wooden floorboards._

_“You as good as killed her” Holtz felt a surge of energy come from somewhere unknown. She mustered up enough muscle to push her father off her and climb over to her goggles. The bottom left hand corner had a tiny crack in them. Holtz felt a fire build up inside of her. She clenched her fists and stood up._

_“How dare you! I am not the reason my mother died! You are supposed to be my father but I am scared of you!” she yelled, she clutched onto her goggles to give herself strength._

_“Scared of me” He repeated. Holtz`s strength faltered, she took a step back to place some distance between them._

_For Holtz it happened in slow motion. She was quick to place her goggles up a height to avoid further damage. Her feet were kicked out from beneath her, she crumpled to the floor as her father’s boot clad foot rammed into her side. She gasped at the pain, she reached up to fight back but made next to no impact. With each beat Holtz felt herself fading, she felt her eyes grow heavy and then there was darkness._


	4. Chapter 4

Things proved a little bit too much for Holtzmann, she gasped as she finished the section of her story. She was shaking slightly, Erin`s face was crumpled. She couldn’t bear to hear about just how crappy Holtzmann`s childhood was.

“Holtzy, baby, you okay?” Patty asked. Holtz nodded and clambered over to her. She sat in Patty`s lap and leaned against her shoulder- she looked exhausted.

“It’s just I’ve been trying to block all this out” she wheezed.

“Well that’s not exactly healthy Holtz” Abby cut in. Holtz laughed, she pulled out a tube of Pringles. She bit into them and raised her eyebrows.

“Where the hell were you hiding them!?” Abby asked. Holtz said nothing she just bit down on her crisps.

“So what happened after that?” Patty whispered. Holt shot her a look. She shook her head.

“I don’t remember exactly, I woke up in my own bed. I couldn’t get out of bed, I had three broken ribs”

“And your dad?” Patty pushed. Holtz took a deep breath, she stayed leaning against Patty and played with her fingers as she talked.

_Holtz was confined to her bed, she spent all day there. She heard the phone ring, her dad answered._

_“Yeah Jillian can’t come in today- she’s sick, tonsillitis so she will probably be off for a couple of days” Holtz shifted in her bed, she wanted nothing more than to be back at school. She was missing an important physics lesson. Her dad came up the stairs. Holtz scrunched her eyes shut._

_“I know you’re not asleep” he hissed. Holtz opened her eyes. She bunched the blanket up around her chin and looked at her father._

_“Look Jillian, I’m sorry” he said. Holtz said nothing. He sat down on her bed, her breath became hitched in her throat._

_“I just miss her” he whispered._

_“I miss her too, however I don’t go around beating family members” Holtz regretted what she had said the minute it escaped from her lips. Holtz father groaned, he brought up his hand. Holtz braced herself for impact. Nothing. She opened her eyes, her goggles were lying in front of her, her father had left the room._

_After about a week Holtzmann went back to school, George stayed clear of her and she tried to hide how much she was hurting behind a fake smile. She spent a while with Mrs Lawson to catch up on some work._

_Holtz spent the next couple of years avoiding her father. There were a couple instances where bruises would appear, she spent as little time as possible in the house. School holidays were the worst- she started to do summer work in the first half of the summer so she could send herself away to camp. The day Holtz turned eighteen she left for a top college. She left in the early morning with a single backpack. She was careful to make sure her father didn’t know where she was going. She lived in peace for four years. Then she met Abby, she hasn’t seen him since._

“Thank god you got out of there” Erin said.

“It’s been five years since I saw him” Holtzmann told them.

“You don’t need him baby girl” Patty assured her.

“Of course she doesn’t” added Abby.

The next morning Abby was the first to wake up. She took her time cleaning up the empty nacho bowl and Holtzmann`s discarded tube of Pringles. She proceeded to wipe her nail varnish off, before waking up the others. The storm had subsided and the normal bustle from outside filled the air. They cleared up the mattresses and the blankets before making way for the door.

“Ms Gilbert, I think you may want to de-tentacle yourself before we head out into the world” Holtz said taking Erin by the arm and leading her to a mirror. Erin’s hands shot up to her head to feel the braids that still twisted her hair together. Holtz helped her remove the ties from the back and smoothed out her hair with her fingers. Erin’s hair doubled in size, it wasn’t a great look.

Abby tried to open the door, it wouldn’t budge.

“I don’t believe it- the storm has tripped the wiring” a unified groan filled the room. They went back upstairs so Abby could call an electrician. Holtz leaned against the window, Erin tried to make the best out of her hair and Patty found a phone number.

“Hey Abby shall we just leave though the window- you can push me out first” Holtz fell about laughing however Abby didn’t find it as funny.

“Someone will be here in about half an hour” announced Abby.

“Who’s for breakfast then?” Holtz asked making her way to the kitchen. Patty followed her, this time she was intent on helping.

True to their word there was a voice at the door within half an hour. Abby ran down the stairs to talk him through the problem and where the electrics lived. The guy went around the back to fix the wiring before silencing the alarms. He opened the door and smiled at Abby. Abby thanked him and asked how much. He quoted the price, a very good price and the pair went upstairs so Abby could get some money out of the safe. He admired their HQ and told Abby he never believed they were fakes.

“Were saved” joked Patty as she shook the electricians hand and clapped him on the back, Erin smiled at him and Hotlzmann dropped a wrench. The clatter caused everyone in the room to turn around and stare at her.

“Holtzy?” Patty said, she crossed the room to get to Hotlzmann and made her look at her. Holtzmann stretched out her hand and balled up a fist containing the hem of Patty`s t-shirt. She leaned in and whispered in Patty`s ear.

“That’s him” she hissed.

“My dad”


	5. Chapter 5

Within a second Holtzmann had a wall of people between her and her father. She felt her insides shrink, she felt instantly weaker and wanted nothing more than to be as far away as possible. Her hands instinctively reached up to her goggles.

“Bro, you need to take your money and go” Patty said menacingly, she stood way taller than the man who was in front of her. She looked down at him, he however didn’t falter.

“I just want to talk to my daughter” he said.

“I think you should be leaving” Abby said, she handed over his money and guided him to the door.

“Please” he begged. He tried to look over Patty`s shoulder to get to Holtzmann- he failed. Holtzmann stared at the back of Patty`s shirt focusing on the material.

“Goodbye Mr Holtzmann” Erin said sternly.

“It`s Mark, please”

“Goodbye Mr Holtzmann” she repeated. Mark sighed, he took one last glimpse of Holtz and then left. Holtzmann went to her desk and began to tinker. Erin went over to her, Holtzmann shook her head. After about an hour or so Abby and Patty decided to make tracks. Erin and Holtzmann stayed at HQ a while longer, as Abby left she shot Erin a meaningful look. Holtz finished her tinkering and also decided she wanted to go home. Erin cut in.

“I’ll go with you, you don’t want to be alone tonight” Holtzmann fiddled with her goggles, Erin for the first time noticed the crack in the corner.

“Ms Gilbert, you don’t get to think for me. I’m fine. I will be fine” Holtzmann was putting on a brave face. Erin touched her arm, she shook her off.

“And please in future, not that there will be a future, but please refer to my father with his first name. I hate that we share our latter” then Holtz left. Erin had a hard time not crying. She texted Abby and Patty to say she was going back to her apartment alone. When she got outside she caught a last glimpse of blonde hair before it turned a corner.

Holtzmann`s apartment was quite a walk away from HQ. For the first time in her life she did have enough money to buy herself a better place but she had fallen in love with her apartments imperfections. She also did not want to deal with the conversation she would have to have with her landlord. The apartment looked much worse off as a consequence of Hotlzmann`s experiments. She reached the door, she slotted her key in and had to hit the frame with her shoulder to get it too open. Holtz`s apartment was small and messy- just how she liked it. She kicked off her shoes and retreated to her bedroom. Sleep quickly took her.

“Jillian” Holtz`s eyes shot open. Mark stood at the foot of her bed. Holtz shot back, her back collided with the headboard. She winded herself.

“Jillian I need you to listen to me”

“No way, you came to my place of work on purpose! You must have known I would be there, I’ve had my face plastered on TV and in the papers for weeks. That wasn’t a job for you” Mark shook his head.

“When the call came through I jumped at the chance. I had to see you”

“You’ve changed so much. I’m proud of you Jill...”

“It’s Holtzmann” Holtz cut him off. He sighed and sat at the foot of her bed.

“Please leave” she whispered. She started to pick off the nail vanish, it flaked off and scattered across her bed sheets.

“We need to talk”

“No. You forfeited the right to talk to me”

“I’m your father” Holtz laughed.

“So” she whispered.

“I know I did some wrong in the past- but I’ve changed. I would never hurt you Jill...Holtzmann” she shot him a look. She remembered the rings around her arm, the cracked ribs.

“Why did you want to see me?” she asked. She didn’t really want to know but she was currently alone in her apartment with her abusive father and a firm belief that people didn’t really change.

“It’s your mother” this caught Holtz`s attention. She picked up her goggles from the bedside table and nodded.

“I think her... ghost...is still at the house” Holtzmann rolled her eyes.

“I really don’t want to help you”

“Then help your mother” he got up from the bed and left. Hotlzmann let out the breath she had been holding in and scooted under the covers. Sleep didn’t take her this time.

The next morning Holtzmann got dressed early and ran the whole way to HQ. Thankfully Abby was already there.

“Hey Holtz you okay?” she asked. Holtz gave a small nod

“We’ve had a few calls though the night- we should probably check them out once Patty and Erin get here”

“I may have another bust to add to the list” Hotlz said.

“Is that right?” Just then Erin and Patty entered the room.

“Morning guys” Erin chirped. Erin looked at Holtzmann and could instantly tell that she had had next to no sleep. She slipped over to her and handed her three tubes of Pringles. Holtzmann gladly took them whist flashing her a toothy grin.

“Holtz was just about to tell me about a bust she got told about” Erin and Patty looked at Holtz.

“Um...my dad came to my apartment last night”

“Hold up” Patty butted in.

“Your dad?” she questioned. Holtz nodded.

“He didn’t hurt you did he?” a worried Erin questioned. Holtz shook her head, Erin let out a relived sigh.

“And if he did it would be your fault” hissed Abby.

“You left her!” she shouted. Erin opened her mouth to retaliate but was stopped by Holtzmann stepping between the two.

“I’m fine, he didn’t hurt me and please don’t talk about me like I’m not here”

“He needs us for a bust” she added.

“Who is the target” asked Patty.

“My mother”


	6. Chapter 6

Holtzmann was up front driving, she was blasting 80s tunes. She was in a world of her own. They drove for a while the only sound being the music and Holtz`s singing. They turned onto a street with loads of big houses. Holtzmann immediately turned off the music and drove in silence.

“Holtzy are you sure?” whispered Patty as Holtzmann pulled over. Holtzmann bit her lip and nodded.

“Alright then, lets gear up” Abby said, she was the first to get out of the car. Holtz shot Erin a look through the mirror. Patty got out of the car and went to help Abby with the packs.

“Will you talk to him, I don’t want to talk to him” Holtz said quietly. Erin pushed herself forward to lean over the seat.

“Anything you need” she whispered and kissed the blonde woman on the cheek. They too got up out of the car and pulled their packs onto their backs. Mark was at the door, he smiled at the ensemble before him.

“Look at you” he smiled, he wasn’t met with the same gratitude. The four of them walked into the house, Holtz was quiet. Erin squeezed her hand.

“And When did you see the ghost?” Erin asked. Mark looked at Holtzmann before turning back to face Erin.

“I always see her” Holtz rolled her eyes.

“When was the most recent Mark?” Erin rephrased the question. Mark looked again at Holtzmann, she was looking at the corner room.

“Yesterday, in the living room. She was angry” Abby whipped out some equipment and marched into the living room. The spinner started to spin, Holtzmann readied her proton pack.

“Baby we can do this without you if you want” Patty said. Holtz shook her head, a determined look on her face.

Then all of a sudden, there she was. A slightly older version of Holtzmann, she had the same blue eyes and the same blonde hair. Holtzmann whimpered, she felt her whole body go slightly limp.

“Mam?” she gasped. The ghost looked at her, Erin tightened her grip on her own proton pack.

“Jillian” she whispered.

“My Jillian”

“I’m so sorry, I tried to get to you sooner. Ah good you got your googles, you’re so big now” Holtzmann adjusted her goggles and grinned at the apparition in front of her. As much as Holtzmann hated it, she could hardly remember what her own mother looked like. Her memories were fuzzy and after she died her father packed away all the photographs.

“Why are you here Mrs Holtzmann?” Patty asked. The ghost shifted her gaze and nodded at Patty.

“I had to check she was okay” she said looking back at her daughter.

“Okay, Holtz were going to wait outside just scream if you need us” Erin, Patty and Abby went through the door leaving Holtz and her parents. Holtzmann turned to look back at her mother- she refused to look at her father.

“Mark how could you?” she whispered, she hadn’t taken her eyes of Holtzmann. Holtz father looked at her.

“You’re less angry today aren’t you” the ghost clenched her fist, Holtz grabbed her proton gun.

“Mam” she whispered.

“How could you do that to your own daughter” she rose higher and seemed to get more ionised. Suddenly she flew at Mark, he screamed and fell back. His back collided with the sofa and he let out a yelp. Holtzmann loosened the grip on her proton pack and did nothing to prevent it, she stood and watched. The rest of the team bolted though the door, Erin`s proton stream wrapped around the ghost`s waist and pulled her off Mark. The ghost released him and smiled at Holtz. Then she was gone. Mark was a mess, a blubbering mess.

Holtz went up to her old room. It was bare and didn’t contain anything that she had left behind. Her back slid down the panel of the door frame and she sat with her knees hugged up to her chest. This was how she used to sit, to keep him out. She was tiny but the door was old, the right amount of pressure in the bottom half of the door made it hard to open. She could block him out. She heard Erin on the other side, Erin couldn’t get in. Holtz told her she would be down in a second.

Holtz mother reappeared. Holtz stayed where she was and smiled up at her.

“I’m sorry Jillian, I lost my temper”

“It took me years to get the strength to come back, from here I saw what he was doing to you but I was powerless. Once you had left for college I managed to break the barrier and started to make him pay. He hit me once, you were a baby. He never did it again, I never thought he could hurt his own child. I’m so sorry Jillian”

“None of this is your fault mam”

“I left you” Holtz shook her head.

“Are you going to leave him alone now?” she asked. Her mother nodded.

“I think I can rest easily now, knowing that you’re okay. He can’t hurt you anymore, especially not with them lot downstairs looking out for you”

“Do you think you could ever forgive him?” she asked. Holtz thought for a second. After the first time it happened she wanted to forgive him, she couldn’t believe that he had hurt her. Then with every future incidence she lost a piece of her that could forgive him. When he showed up at HQ she went blind with hate. The person infornt of her runined an already broken childhood...but that was so long ago.

“Could you?” she asked. Her mother glided towards her and pressed her hand up against Holtzmann`s. Holtz gasped, but didn’t comment on how cold it was.

“You have your own family now, those women downstairs. You have to think if you want to let him in again. It’s up to you”

“If you need me again Jillian I will be in here” The ghost`s hand hovered over Holtz`s heart, she mirrored her mother’s smile as she faded.  Holtz picked herself up off the floor and opened the door, she went downstairs. Mark was still being propped up by Abby, she was making circular motions with the flat of her had on his back. His breathing was scattered.

“Ghost taken care of” Holtz said, she looked at her father and bit her lip before heading back out to the car. The other three quickly followed. Holtz cranked up her tunes and waited for Abby, Erin and Patty to get in the car. Abby joined her upfront and turned the sound dial. The car fell quiet again.

“What happened up there?” she asked. Holtzmann simply smiled and cranked up her tunes again.


	7. Chapter 7

Holtz`s father didn’t make another appearance. The team was free to work through their back log of busts. Holtz spent a lot of time in her lab making improvements to their equipment- the team where in the best shape they have ever been.

One Saturday Abby decided they could have the day off, they hadn’t had a call for two days and she felt like the team could use a breather. Patty opted to help her uncle out with cleaning his hearses, Abby was going to do some paperwork. Erin had decided to sort out her bookshelves. That morning Holtzmann got dressed in her signature overalls and grabbed her backpack, she walked to Erin`s. Erin answered the door dressed in sweats.

“Holtz?” Holtzmann had only been in Erin`s house a couple of times, it was the complete opposite to her apartment. It was white, clean and tidy. She was lead through to the sitting room and offered a drink. Erin`s books were strewn across the floor. A copy of _Ghosts from our past_ was visible.

“What can I do for you?” Erin asked sitting next to Holtz. Holtzmann put her feet up on Erin`s knees.

“I`m not distracting you from your books am I?” Holtz asked. Erin looked across the room, the messiness of it made her a little bit uncomfortable but she forced herself to shake her head.

“It’s about my dad” suddenly the books didn’t matter, Erin was immediately scanning Holtz`s body for any visible sign of trauma. Her eyes dropped to the skin visible around Holtz`s middle, where her overalls didn’t cover her. She exhaled slightly out of relief when she couldn’t see any marks. Holtz shook her head.

“I haven’t seen him since we went home the other day”

“It’s just I don’t know what to do...I mean he is my father. Do I forgive him for what he did? I spoke to my mother, god that sounds crazy. She said I had to decide- see the thing is I don’t know what to do. You’re level headed, got any tips?” Holtz had slid down the arm of the sofa and was now lying on her back with her legs still draped over Erin. She had her hand pressed up on her eyes. Erin was stunned into silence, she hadn’t given this any thought. She automatically assumed Holtz wanted nothing more to do with him. She knew that Holtz had only told them the surface facts about what her father used to do to her, she assumed that anyone who hurt you like that you could never forgive them. But then she started to think, it took her years to muster up enough courage to forgive her parents for not believing her about ghosts. She knew what her parents put her through was completely different to what Holtz`s father did to her. However she couldn’t imagine not having her family.

“I think you should try to get to know him” she said breaking the silence. Holt sat up and looked at Erin properly.

“I mean you don’t know who he is...he started to hurt you when you were young. You didn’t get a chance to know him” Erin couldn’t believe what she was saying. She was literally trying to get Holtz and her father back together. Holtzmann`s father. She opened her mouth again.

“But only if you want too and if you do go see him you need one of us with you, I mean you could just talk to him...that couldn’t hurt” she added, starting to ramble a little bit. Hotz took Erin`s hand and kissed her on the cheek.

“I’ll let you know when I need you” she whispered into her hair.

“Now get these books cleaned up geez it’s a disgrace in here!” Holtz laughed and let herself out. She walked home feeling slightly better.

That night Erin had a nightmare about Holtz and her father. She awoke with a start, she spent all morning convincing herself that she had done the right thing, about talking Holtz into talking to her father.

The next day the Ghostbusters did a few minor busts and then ordered in Chinese. When they were heading home Holtz grabbed Erin`s arm and dragged her over to the ecto 1.

“You can’t drive this! We’re not doing a bust” hissed Erin. Holtzmann ignored her and pushed her in the passenger seat. They drove back to Holtzmann`s house, Holtzmann told Erin about the limited memories she had before her mother died- before things went wrong.

_The day that Holtz`s mother pulled a sickie and came home from work. That day her dad never even went to work, they pulled Holtzmann out of nursery claiming she had a doctor’s appointment. They took her to the science museum and for tea after. Holtzmann ran ahead and tried to read everything best she could. The big words made her head go fuzzy but she demanded her father tell her what they were. She learned about physics, chemistry and biology. He held her up on his shoulders so she could see the tops of the exhibits. They were the last ones in the museum, the man on the door gave Holtzmann a free pass so she could come back another day. In the gift shop her mother bought her a clock that she could make that would be powered by a lemon._

Holtz ran up to her house and rapped on the door. Mark answered, he looked down at his daughter. Confused.

“I just want to talk” Holtz breathed after a few second of uncomfortable. Mark looked over her shoulder to lock eyes with Erin.

“Erin stays too, that’s part of the deal” Holtz said, Mark pushed his back against the door opening it further so Holtz could pass. Erin quickly followed. Erin and Holtzmann sat down on a sofa and Mark sat in a chair in front of them. Hotlzmann swallowed.

“I’ve decided to get to know you. This doesn’t mean I forgive you or anything but I do believe in second chances” Mark`s face lit up.

“Oh Jill...Holtzmann I’m so glad to hear this. This is all I’ve wanted, I feel bad about the past. Please let me make it up too you” Holtzmann shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Mark shot forward and got down on his knees in front of her, he took her hand. Hotlz took in a sharp intake of breath, she felt Erin go rigid beside her.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin and Holtz stayed less than an hour, they discussed the Holtzmann`s separate lives from the day Holtz left. She told her father about college then about finding Abby, he told his daughter about getting back on his feet, even attending anger management classes. He even asked Holtz why she never reported him.

“I knew if I did I would be taken away, I didn’t want that. I waited out until I was legal to leave and then that was it” he nodded and thanked her. She said nothing. She didn’t do what she did for him. Holtz often thought about telling someone- it would have been so easy to tell Mrs Lawson, but then she would have been whipped into care. She didn’t need another label to make things worse. Her life was already hard as it was.

Erin and Holtz drove back to HQ, Erin wasn’t sure how the day had gone. She looked at Holtz with her big brown eyes, she didn’t need to ask the question.

“I don’t know either” Holtzmann said.

The next day Holtzmann bounded into HQ ready to do some busting, they were called out to a library and had to get rid of an extremely angry ghost. Some equipment was damaged in the process, Holtzmann scooped up her babies and drove back to HQ. She set them down on the table and started to make repairs, repairs that turned into improvements. Holtz was about to add some turbo boosters when she realised she didn’t have them with her- they were back at home. She rolled her eyes and shouted out to everyone to say she was heading home for a bit.

She left the HQ and started to walk down the street. When she got about a block away Abby`s number flashed up on her cell. She pushed the green button and answered.

“Hotlz”

“Yeah hi Holtz we have a bust to go too, it doesn’t sound like a big one. Minor thing I think. We will just take what equipment we have here and go ahead. We will meet you back here later on?” Holtz clicked her phone off and continued to walk on. She walked past thw Chinese and decided to get some lunch. She ordered some noodles and ate them whilst looking out at the street. She didn’t have to pay for her Chinese any more. The nice man behind the counter knew who she was and what she did, he gave her all her food for free. Just as she was finishing her meal Abby flashed up on her phone again.

“Was a prank call would you believe! We looked like right dorks showing up there fully kitted out, for nothing!”

“Ha! No way, well I’m almost sorted so I’ll be back within the hour, bye Abz” Holtzmann waved at the man behind the counter and ran up to her apartment. She shoved the door open and went into the living room in search of the turbo boosters, she wasn’t entirely sure where they would be. The last time she lost some equipment she found it in her fridge. Thankfully she saw them strewn on her coffee table. As she bent down to grab them she heard the floorboards creak behind her. She took in a deep breath and tried to turn around. Before she had the chance, a hand grabbed one of the boasters and then it collided with her skull, she slumped forward as her eyes grew heavy. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her phone being crushed under a work boot. Her face hit the floor and then she fell unconscious.

When Holtzmann opened her eyes she was laying against her radiator. She groaned and went to reach up to her head, her head was banging. She was prevented from getting anywhere near her head. Her wrists were restricted, she looked down too see her hands bound in rope. She gasped and started to struggle but they were so well done, any effort she made seemed to only make them tighter.

Mark emerged from the kitchen with a glass of water and a tablet, it looked like paracetamol.

“You hit your head pretty badly, this should help” he said getting down on his knees in front of her and held out the pill to her mouth. Holt kept her mouth shut.

“You have an egg on your head, please” he said. Holtzmann extended her leg and kicked the glass of water out of his hand. It spilt over his legs. The glass shattered against the floor, amongst the rubble of her phone. A shard of glass found its way into the flesh of his ankle. He yelled out in pain, without warning he brought his hand down on Holtzmann`s cheek. She bit her tongue, she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. A red mark instantly glowed across her cheekbones, Holtz could feel the side of her face throbbing.

“You bitch” he said through gritted teeth. He stood up and kicked the glass underneath the sofa. He went off to the bathroom to clean himself up. Holtzmann felt the tears sting the back of her eyes. She let out a silent sob whist he wasn’t in the room. He emerged from the bathroom, a plaster on his ankle and his trousers somewhat dry.

“You were supposed to be out catching ghosts girl, I didn’t want to hurt you” his hands were clenched.

“Where is it?” he spat. Holtz said nothing, she frowned. She had no idea what he was talking about.

“The money girl, where is it!” he thought for a second and then grabbed Holtzmann`s arm. It didn’t hurt, he didn’t even need to place any pressure, she cried out anyway as the memory hit her. She was small again- unable to get away from him. Her arm burned.

“What money?” she gasped.

“Come on, the government must pay you for this ghost shit!” he said letting go of her arm with such force that it banged against the radiator. This time Holtz couldn’t help but let out a small cry, Mark smiled.

This was obviously true. Holtzmann kicked herself for letting him back in, he had used her. Used her to get rid of her mother and now for her money. Mark had remembered about his wife, she used to keep a large wad of money near her- it made her feel safer. He also remembered his daughter used to do it with her quarters. One of the many habits Holtz had picked up from her mother. He hoped she hadn’t changed. Holtz being a creature of habit- hadn’t. She had a thousand dollars under the floorboards. She wasn’t going to let him get his grubby hands on it. It was her money- she worked for it, her and her friends. She went back to being quiet.

Gradually her apartment became unrecognisable- it was messier than it had ever been. Items smashed, Holtzmann was broken.


	9. Chapter 9

Hours passed, Mark still hadn’t found the money. Holtz was badly bruised- she was sure her right arm was broken and her ribs cracked. He got down in front of Holtzmann and held her chin roughly- forcing her to look at her. Holtz looked into his eyes and saw nothing.

“If you don’t tell me, I will go back to HQ. Grab your stupid dyke girlfriend and she can tell me where it is” he hissed. Holtz stiffened up. She could smell a trace of alcohol on his breath. She turned her face as much as she could to get away from the smell of it.

“Erin doesn’t know where it is, and she’s not my girlfriend” Holtz whispered.

“No? Straight girl not want you then? Not surprised. Look at you Jillian. You wouldn’t want her to see you like this and worse you wouldn’t want me to hurt her” Holtzmann`s breath became hitched in her throat. She couldn’t let Erin get caught up in this, she couldn’t let him hurt any of her friends. A tear fell from her eyes, Mark wiped it off. Holtz cursed herself for showing him how much he was hurting her.

“Well?” Holtzmann sighed and nodded at the loose floorboard under the now overturned coffee table. He dug out the money, a wild grin on his face. He sat next to Holtzmann, just far enough away so even her legs couldn’t reach him. He counted his money, gloating in Holtmann`s face. He bent down to Holtz and kissed her on her cheek- Holtz whimpered as he did so.

“Thank you...Jillian”

Then he stood up to leave.

“Wait! You can’t just leave. Untie me. Please” she yelled.

But he was gone, the faulty door bounced back of the lock.

Back at HQ Abby was starting to get worried. She had been pacing by the window waiting for Holtzmann.

“She said she was coming back hours ago”

“I’ll try her cell again” said Patty. She couldn’t even connect with the line.

“That’s it, were going round there” Erin said jumping to her feet and running down the stairs, closely followed by Patty and Abby.

The three of them ran all the way to Holtzmann`s apartment. Erin cried out when she saw the door was ajar. She slumped forward, a panic attack. Abby grabbed her and made her look her in the eyes. She emphasised her breathing- trying to get Erin to copy.

“At least we don’t have to figure out how than damn thing opens, I’ve been telling Holtz to get a new door for ages” Patty said in a vain attempt to calm herself down. Erin shook Abby off, her breathing at a more manageable rate. She then ran up the steps and pushed the door open.

“Holtz?” she shouted, her voice cracking as she did so. It was met by silence, then suddenly a tiny voice answered her.

“Erin...please don’t come in” Holtz couldn’t bear to be seen like that.

“Are you okay Holtzy baby?” Patty shouted. Then she heard crying.

“Holtzmann were coming in, sorry” Abby apologised as the three barged into Holtzmann`s trashed apartment. Erin was the first to clock Holtzmann lying up against the radiator, she ran to her- swallowing her tears.

“I feel so stupid” Holtz whispered as Erin`s hands fell down on her bonds. Erin’s skin lightly brushed hers, Holtz jumped involuntarily. Holz`s left eye was swelled shut and was a deep shade of purple. She had bruises covering her stomach and her lip was bust. Erin took out her swiss army knife that Holtzmann had given her. Holtzmann gave a small sad smile at the silver metal. She cut the rope, Holtz moaned as her broken arm was moved. Erin noticed straight away and held it straight.

“Holtz what happened?” she asked. Holtzmann used her good hand to wipe away another tear. She hated that she was this vulnerable.  Holtzmann dove into the story.

“You know what we need to do don’t you baby” Patty said once Holtzmann had finished. Holtz winced but nodded. Patty put her hands underneath Holtz`s arms and pulled her up to her feet. Meanwhile Abby had called a cab. Holtz was slow to move, by the time she had gotten down the steps, onto the street the cab was there. Abby got in the front and Holtz sat in the middle at the back. She lay with her head on Patty`s shoulder and held Erin’s hand with her good arm.

At the hospital Holtz was taken for an x-ray and then had her arm bandaged up. By this time the police were there, her injuries were recorded and Holtzmann had to make a statement. Erin was in the corridor crying, Abby had wrapped her up in a big hug and tried to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault.

A very tired Holtzmann emerged into the corridor, she ran into Erin`s arms and told her the exact same thing as Abby. Holtz`s apartment was being treated as a crime scene, Erin wasn’t in the right frame of mind so Holtz went home with Patty.

She lay in Patty`s bed, she couldn’t sleep. She could hear Patty lightly snoring beside her. She shuffled around Patty and gripped the hem of her t-shirt. After a couple of hours her eyes began to get heavy and she did eventually fall asleep.

Holtzmann woke up screaming, she found herself smushed against Patty. Patty was stroking her hair- careful not to touch her black eye or any of the other bruises on her face. She quickly calmed down. Patty helped her sit up, Holtz stifled a scream as the weight pushed against her ribs. Then Patty fetched her a drink.

Whilst they were having breakfast Patty`s phone rang. It was the police, they asked to speak to Holtzmann.


	10. Chapter 10

Patty handed the phone over to Holtz and watched as she listened to the police on the other end of the line. Holtz leaned on her good arm and fiddled with the dressing on the other. It had already begun to fray at the edges. Patty began to clean away the breakfast dishes. Holtzmann had hardly touched hers- Patty put it down to nerves.

“Okay thank you” Holtz said and then hung up. She handed the phone back to Patty and sighed.

“They have my money and him in custody” she announced. She felt relived. From the look on Patty`s face she shared this emotion.

“Well that’s good isn’t it?” Patty said as she helped Holtz down from the breakfast bar and lowered her onto the sofa. Holtzmann winced as she moved against her ribs. Patty fetched her some more medication. She handed Holtz a glass of water and two pills.

“They need me to make another statement” Holtz winced as she swallowed the pills. Patty squeezed her hand.

“This will be all over soon baby” she whispered. Holtz looked up at her with her big blue eyes and smiled sadly.

“I hope so” she whispered. Patty wrapped Holtzmann up in a hug- she didn’t squeeze like she normally did. Holtz snuggled up into Patty, she loved Patty hugs.

That afternoon Patty dropped Holtzmann off at the station. She squeezed Holtz`s hand and kissed her on the forehead. Holtz collected her money, she was assured that it was all there but she had to count it all the same. Once she was done she was taken to an interview room. It was small and dank and made Holtz want to fold in on herself. Two investigators sat across from her, a man and a woman- a recording machine was laid on the table. She sat down and fumbled with her goggles under the desk. Her finger ran across the chip.  

“Interview commencing at 14:22”

“Miss Holtzmann could you please tell us, in her own words, what happened yesterday afternoon”

“He came and...”

“He?” the woman interrupted.

“My father” Holtz said through gritted teeth. The investigator nodded.

“For the record the suspect is Mark Holtzmann” she then smiled urging her to continue. Holtz sighed.

“He came to my home to steal my money, he made a prank call to HQ to try to get us out on a job, I obviously caught him off guard. He knocked me out, he broke my arm!” Holtz could feel herself getting angry. She banged her arm off the desk and winced as a pain shot up to her elbow.

“Do you have frequent contact with your father?” Holtz shook her head.

“He came to fix our electrics at work, I went to see him a couple days later. But before that I hadn’t seen him for about five years”

“And why was that?” Holtzmann`s eyes shot up and she glared at the woman who asked the question.

“I don’t see why that is relevant to this incident” she whispered.

“Were just trying to build up a picture of the relationship” Holtz looked down- she could feel her eyes burning again.

“Do you want to take a break Miss Holtzmann?” Holtz bit her lip and shook her head. She wanted this over and done with.

“My dad...well he wasn’t a great father. He used to...well knock me about” she whispered. There was a short awkward pause.

“When did this start?”

“After my mam died right up to when I left from college” Holtz said bluntly- she had every intent to remain this blunt.

“Did you ever report him?” Holtzmann shook her head.

“Was there ever any sexual abuse” Holtz looked up again and shook her head. Then that was the end of the questions, Holtzmann let out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. She was glad she didn’t  have to rake up more of the past.

“Okay thank you Miss Holtzmann. Interview ended at 14;45” they motioned for her to stand up.

Holtzmann was lead out of the room and out of the station, she clutched her money to her chest in its brown paper envelope. Patty was there to pick her up, Holtzmann was tired but extremely hungry.

“We’ve got Chinese waiting for you” Patty said as she opened the car door. Holtz sat down and smiled back up at Patty as she closed the door- she was famished.

When Holtz entered HQ she was met with the smell of her favourite food. There were even three tubes of Pringles waiting for her. Holtzmann happily dug in, much slower than usual thanks to the use of only one hand.

As time went on Holtzmann`s arm healed and she was back to fixing up proton packs. Back to busting the ghosts of New York. Her bruises gradually disappeared and her ribs stopped aching. Her sparkle in her eyes returned. Her father was sent to prison and Holtz finally had some peace. She even managed to move apartments- a much bigger one that allowed her to have a lab at home. This did however mess up her sleeping pattern. If she wasn’t out on a job, she was in her lab at HQ. If she wasn’t in her lab at HQ she was in her lab at home. This left little time for trivial things like sleeping. Her old apartment building became pray to a ghost, so for busting it Holtz was allowed out of her lease, despite the masses of damage caused to it. She missed her own apartment but it wasn’t the same after..., well you know. She still would walk past the Chinese to get her free food.

Erin came around to help her fix up her new apartment. By the end of the day more paint was on themselves than the actual walls. The next day Holt enlisted Patty and Abby in a hope for more success. This wasn’t the case, more paint was wasted. For the first time in her life she was happy- happy outside the world of physics. She had a family, she was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay we have come to the end of this fic,Thanks for reading xxx


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